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逐词逐句精细批改，不规范表达改进，详细分数分析，500字以上写作指导，全文改进
创建于：2024-09-08 02:34:12
圈里有谁
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高中英语作文精批20篇
题目:JamesonLobb,a24-year-oldinvestmentbankerfromToronto,hadjuststartedhisnewjobonWallStreet.HewassharingaNewYorkCityapartmentwithhiscollegefriend,RaphaelJafri,anartificialintelligenceengineer.Onelunchtime,whileworkingoutonPier15,overlookingtheEastRiver,Lobbsuddenlyfroze."Someone'sinthewater,"hesaid.Withouthesitation,heclimbedovertherailandjumpedintothecold,pollutedriver,stillwearinghisshoes.Jafrididn'tseethevictimbuttrustedLobb'sinstincts."Maybehesawsomeoneintrouble,"hethought."Ormaybeheneedsmyhelp."Withoutdelay,Jafrikickedoffhisshoesanddoveinafterhisfriend.Lobbreachedtheunconsciousmanfirst.Hewasmiddle-aged,well-dressed,andweighedabout200pounds.Themanwassinkingfast,alreadythreefeetbelowthesurface.Lobbdovedown,grabbedhim,andkickedupwarduntiltheybothresurfaced.Bythen,Jafrihadarrived.Together,theyfloatedthemanonhisback,withJafrisupportinghisshouldersandLobbholdinghishipsandknees.Thewaterwasswirling,andtheirmusclesburnedastheystruggledtopulltheheavy,lifelessbodytowardthepier.Theman'sskinwasblue,andhewasn'tbreathing.WhentheyfinallyreachedPier15,theyfacedanotherchallenge:howtogetout.Thepier'sdeckwas10feetabovethem,andthewater'ssurfacewascoveredinsharpshellfish.Jafri,barefoot,couldn'tclimbwithoutinjuringhimself.Suddenly,themanstirred（微动）,breathingagain.Inhisconfusion,helashedout,hittingJafriinthefacebeforeslippingbackintounconsciousness.Thetwofriends,exhaustedandstruggling,nowhadtofindawaytosavethemselvesandthemantheyhadriskedeverythingtorescue.作答:Onthepier,acrowdhadgathered.Realizingwhatanurgentsuitationwasthatpeoplesprangintoaction.Withouthesitation,Phoningurgentcall,peoplefoundthenearbyCoastGuardtoaskforhelp.Atthatmoment,LobbandJafriweretiredandexhausted,notKnowingwhattodo.Luckily,nosoonerhadtheCoastGuardarrivedthantheytookmeasurestorescuepeoplequickly.Duetothedangeroussuitationoftheman,theydecidedtorescuehimfirstly,withthehelpoflobbandJafri.Withthejointefforts,everythingwassosmooth.LobbandJafriremainedinthewaterafewminutesmore,untiltheywererescuedbytheCoastGuard.Whentheyarrivedatpier,thecrowdclappedfortheirkindacts.Thesedeedswerereportedbylocalfamousnewspaper.Sotouchingweretheirbraveryandkindnessthattheywereawardedbyofficialorganization.Thankingfortheirhelp,themangavethembiggiftsandhuggedthemtightly,tearswellingupeyes.Throughthisexperience,Lobbrealizedthatthesmallestactcouldleavelastingimpactsonotherslife.Withthenewoutlook,Lobbmadeuphismindtodothisforever.
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2025-05-04 1 评论 1 喜欢
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