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逐词逐句精细批改,不规范表达改进,详细分数分析,500字以上写作指导,全文改进
创建于:2024-09-08 02:50:46
圈里有谁
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Withthreelittlebabies,Inevertookabreak,completelyignoringanyself-care.WhenIwastootiredtomakemyselfdinner,I'djusteatthekids'leftovercereal(麦片粥).Ithoughtthiswasagreatplantolosesomeweightandcalleditthe"CerealforDiet."Backthen,Iknewnothingaboutnutrition.Ofcourse,theCerealforDietfailed,asdidallmyotherattempts.Oneday,aftercleaningupallthemessmykidshadmade,Iwentoutforawalk.Ipassedagym.Ilookedaway.Healthypeoplewentthere,butthiswasnotme.Whileturningaway,Isawanadforasix-monthfitnesschallenge.Icontinuedmyfastwalkintheoppositedirection,butthatsignjuststayedonmymind.Istillrememberwhatfinallymotivatedmetosignupforthechallenge.Itwasaten-minuteperiodinwhichmysonthrewhisspaghettiplatestraightup,sendingnoodlesandsauceflyingeverywhere.Assoonasmyhusbandgothome,Isaid,"You'reincharge."Imadeabeelineforthegym,marchedstraightinandsaid,"Fixme."AndIwasassignedayoungandfittrainer,Emily.Sheaskedwhatmygoalswereforthesix-monthchallenge.Atthatmoment,Iwasspeechless.Noticingmyembarrassment,EmilyjusthandedmetheheaviestweightsIhadinmylifeandsaid,"Okay,soinsixmonthsyouwillcompeteinabody-buildingshow."Itriedexplaining,"No,Idon'twanttodoashow.Thatsoundsscary."Sheignoredmyfear,andwejumpedintostrictworkoutsandnutritionplanning.Overthenextsixmonths,Emilyforcedmetofocusonmyself—mywantsandmyneeds.Ilearnedtoseefoodasstrengthandsweatasprogress.Ilearnedhowtofuelmybodyinsteadofstarvingit,balancingproteins,carbs,andfats.Emilypushedmepastmylimits,correctingmyform,timingmybreaks,andcheeringmeonwhenIwantedtoquit.Iimprovedeverydayinthegym.(1)续写词数应为150左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph1:Oneday,Emilyhandedmeanapplicationform.Paragraph2:SoonIjumpedintoweeksofpreparation.Oneday,Emilyhandedmeanapplicationform.Istaredattheform,withastrongsenseofhelplessandanxietyfloodingoverme.Irecalledthepasttimeofme—amessy,fat,ordinarywoman,andthecriticalwordslike"ugly"sobelieve.Justatthatnegativemoment,Emilybrokeoutmythoughtsandclaimed,"You'vealreadychangedfromafamily'mother'toa'PowerfulLady',whyimmersingyourselfinthepastratherthanbeginninganewchapter?"StartingClosingmyeyes,strokingmybody,IchattedwithmyselftofindIdecidedtocompeteintheform.SinceI'vecaughtsightofmyhard-workingpractice,Emily'ssincereapproval,andmydesiretobeabetterme.SoonIjumpedintoweeksofpreparation.AsIcaughtthecerealagain,Ipreparedgarbages,fruitsandyogurttogether.Thistimethe"Cerealfordiet"isbothenergeticandbeneficial,forthereasonthattheskillofbalancingproteins,carbsandfatswereempoweredbyme.Inthegym,running,swimminganddocumenting,
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